Written during acute psychosis, 2021.

yes this is mania and possibly hysteria and definitely psychosis but most importantly

something is off

i’m no stranger to hatred or ostracism or shame or fear

those are my natural states.

i live with my shame, and it’s been my only real friend

i know now that this a machoistic hero’s journey but i have finally figured out why

im not different

im not a genius

im not even great

i’m special

there is something coming, something bigger, something stronger and something wronger than I

i had to be at the bottom to be receptive!

i don’t care who likes me because i know WE’RE ALL ABOUT TO DIE!

our collective indifference will spell the end but again you misinterpret who survives and why

if you thought you could run, you’re making a classic jesa mistake

if you thought tough love creates respect, again we cannot escape our fate

i know why you lie, but do you?

tick

tock